Grief (the third movement)

To grieve is to
acknowledge the finality of loss
to face the possibility
it may not get better
you may never feel as content
as at home, as loved
as you did, there.

To grieve is to
be nostalgic for what was good;
for what never was
and never will be, again
for those missed opportunities
to speak or do that cannot
be recreated, for those
gone moments embossed on your mind
that you didn’t know
were so significant
at the time.

To grieve is to
peel back the scab of anger
reveal the weeping wound

To grieve is to
stop grasping
at hope
at salvage
at reconstitution
at straws
to give up and let go
let your lead heart pull you down
down like gravity
free falling into the abyss
into the bottomless deep

To grieve is to yield to helplessness
and that
is what I fear
most of all.

© S. Rinderle, 2016

Susana Rinderle poems

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3 thoughts on “Grief (the third movement)

  1. Oh, this got me all teary! Now I know why I waited to read it until my grief got closer. There is so much wisdom here about the grieving being the final step of letting go. I love the imagery of a wound literally weeping, and of the leaden heart pulling down. This is certainly how it feels – that we may never be as content, and the fear of helplessness. I heard it said recently that when we jump, we risk falling, but the good news is that there is no ground. You have validated my sense that the endless free fall is not necessarily a blessing. I wish for us both that we may come to grieve as many things that served their purpose as those that were torn away too soon.

    • Yes. Amen. I’m glad this landed for you, and that you took care of yourself to not read it until you were ready. I also think of the fall as ultimate trust, maybe even bendable reality like a lucid dream. Maybe I can decide to fall on some puffy cotton balls, or into a pair of gentle hands, or a swimming pool of chocolate? Or just fall and float until I’m damn ready to stop or a big eagle rescues me like in LOTR. Sometimes the fear of a thing is much worse than the actual thing, and we are so much more resilient than we know. xoxo

      • Oh, I love those images of being received! And I agree that the idea of fear is the most potent form. When challenges arise, I shift into action! Let’s train our imaginations towards more helpful hobbies, like dreaming of the best possible outcome. 🙂

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